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Sienna Moonfire Designs

Pacific Coast Picture Stories
Website Creation & Maintenance

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the Obsession Chronicles

"When you create, I think it's to get a perspective on who you are, to see yourself in the world for a few seconds."

posted 22 July 2004

once in a blue moon

swim 228: the day Pippin cut his foot
swim 228: evening on the Willamette, 14 July 2004 -- photo by Sienna

a circle closing

at this time last year i was getting my heart slowly broken * slowly because the poor boy couldn't make up his mind or couldn't tell me or some such boyish thing * i will freely admit that i was a little bit grateful that he thought it through completely the other weekend when i watched my silly neighbor boy break up with his girl (really -- i didn't try to watch but they were out on the picnic table where Pippin was so when i looked out i wondered at their obviously Very Serious Discussion only to find out they'd broken up right before my very eyes) * the silly neighbor boy was mad over something, decided he was only happy 85% of the time (boy, give me those odds!) & so it must be time to break up * but it turned out he didn't mean it & i can only wish them the best of luck for the future * my silly boy broke up with me & then left town for 10 days so that when he came back we were able to share the house until i found my new home in my new town * i was not so blind-sided that i couldn't be grateful for that time, which eased the pain of moving if not the pain of the broken heart * i can be grateful for the level head & still curse the small heart * truth be told i'm also endlessly grateful i'm free of that trap * (i guess those sound like harsh words but i assure i share my load of blame -- if he's at fault for giving up, i'm at fault for not giving up) *

i have not seen said boy since i hopped in my uhaul & left everything i knew * i don't know if we'll be friends again & to be honest it doesn't make a lot of difference to me * we've exchanged some friendly emails but there's just no connection left * my good buddy who is also his good buddy tells me we will regret this in ten years when we know nothing about eachother * maybe...

what's important to me right now is that on 30 July, the one-year anniversary of that terrible, necessary break-up, i will be rolling into my home town, my birth town, my new town, Caspar with all my obsessive collections, my Pip & one of my superfineby that I mean 'best' -- click for how I came to use 'superfine' to describe my indescribable friend Max friends bringing my truck, a laughing attitude & some helping hands for the difficult bits * i find the timing delicious: a circle closing (& a blue moon the next day) *

flower 119
flower 119 -- photo by Sienna

on obsessions

i think you all know how much i love Viggo Mortensen (& when i say that i do not mean i want to have his babies, but that i admire him & feel he is a creative influence on my life) * so, since this is my page of brutal honesty, i will admit that i am finally thinking that the obsession might be getting a little bit dangerous * i'm not going to start stalking him, but i've been cruising eBay looking for some of his older movies & out of print cds for... um... some time now * in my (dubious) defense, i do not shell out piles of dough for any magazine that has him on the cover (from the looks of it you could make a living selling magazines on eBay) * but i do look * okay, & i did pay a little too much for a (gorgeous & i'm so glad i did) copy of HoBO #3 * & i stole a copy of the beautiful Flaunt #39 from somebody who didn't know what she had -- thank gods 'cause i'm not paying 50 bucks to add an item to my collection.... weyell... then yesterday i got pretty durn close * not for a magazine, for an out of print cd from 1998 of Viggo's whack-o jazz enjoyment experiments with buddies like Buckethead & Exene Cervenka * i am quite sure i won't regret it (& if i can find a copy of Don't Tell Me What to Do or One Less Thing To Worry About i'll do it again), but i am beginning to think the obsession is getting a little bit on the over the top side * (on the other hand i've been neglecting tyV like a good little girl 'cause i'm too busy & i picked up a complete, brand new set of The Lord of the Rings (BBC Dramatization) for less than 5 bucks so maybe i'm not doin' so bad after all) *


leaf 9
leaf 9 -- photo by Sienna

what's worse is that my usual fun game of picking movie star crushes is just no good after Viggo * when Russell Crowe was my main man (love me some manly man though you should hear him sing silly love songs!) it was easy to pick other crushes * now i look at somebody who i really do think is handsome, like the other night it was Denis Leary (because i loved that new show Rescue Me on FX without commercials!) & i thought mmm, with that hair he looks kinda like Viggo * !!! * & he's even a great guy too, maybe not talented in so many ways but driven & at least halfway conscious * but i just can't get my pannies all in a bunch for anybody now that i've found my true (onscreen/on the page) love * heh... not that he gets me all in a dither that way but lookit! i try to say one little thing about him & you see what happens!


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my horrorscope this week
(for the week of 8 July 2004):
A newlywed couple I know is planning to go to Cuba for their honeymoon. That's pretty risky. The American government has sternly discouraged us citizens from traveling there for years, and President Bush recently laid down even further restrictions. But I admire my friends' desire to combine their romantic getaway with swashbuckling drama. It shows they intend to keep their relationship feisty, free from the ravages of excess comfort and convention. I suggest that you cook up a similar excursion, Aries. Love will thrive on adventure, and vice versa.

angel cards i just drew:
faith    willingness    harmony

how am i doing?
i am all for the Cuban honeymoon * whenever i think of Cuba i think of how i did a report on the country in 5th grade & how the stuff i found in the text books really had nothing to do with the reality * so in a way a trip to Cuba would represent a taste of reality & i like that sort of thing * plus i'd love to go to Cuba -- i'm not scared!
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my favorite onscreen crushes:
the boys
& the girls

the best movies i've seen lately:
Rescue Me (not a movie but i gotta give it a shout-out) *
Quarterback Princess (with the young Helen Hunt & Tim Robbins!) *
Touching the Void *
The Safety of Objects *
Fahrenheit 9/11 *
28 Days *

movies i want to see next:
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what music is playing:

what i am reading:

entrance 31 -- photo by Sienna, 14 July 2004 (click to see a slide show of Pippin pics)
entrance 31
these 2 photos are from the day Pippin sliced his foot open on some glass some considerate type left at the river * since then we've been banned -- but in this heat we can't obey the vet's orders! once i get this posted we'll head there to wash off some of this slow sweaty day * (yes, the paw is healing well with twice daily foot soaks which he loves & for which he behaves remarkably well) *
what i've got packed so far:
* 9 boxes of books that i already took down
* 2 boxes of my remaining books (less the ones i mean to read while i wait to get into my new place)
* 6 boxes of photographs in many forms (negatives to framed prints)

what i hate about moving:
* everything
* i'm going to have to do it while it's so hot out (104) i feel like closing all the curtains & walking around nekid

exit 11 -- photo by Sienna, 14 July 2004 (click to see a slide show of Pippin pics)
exit 11

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birds at my feeders this week:
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questionnaire:
my answers to those questions he always asks on Inside the Actors Studio are as follows (today):
my most favorite word is río *
my least favorite word is moving *
what turns me on is being at home *
what turns me off is moving *
a sound i love is the river splashing around my knees *
a sound i hate is the dryer that's always going next door *
my favorite curse word is bloody 'ell *
a profession other than my own that i would love to try is gallery owner *
a profession i would hate to try is firefighter *
if i end up at the pearly gates & there is a god to greet me, i would want her to say, "you can relax now, you're among friends" *
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leftie shake 72, Willamette River, 14 July 2004 -- photo by Sienna
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