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the Obsession Chronicles
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
posted 3 December 2004
fries with a fork
taking it all in
i wanted to use a quote to suit my sated hungry mood but i didn't have anything in mind * just then Billy's mutter ("ah, shite") told me i had new email in, just a newsletter but one that i remembered had a quote at the bottom * when i saw the one above i had to laugh at its perfect appropriateness *
every once in a while i learn all over again to surrender completely to all those lovely forces greater than me * (as the Lips sing to me now in a song that always makes me think of driving along the Yakima, a place in which i would surrender in a second, "i had to surrender / the universe will have its way / too powerful to master") * i learn this lesson over & over, oftener & oftener (i'm a little slow, or maybe it's just my favorite lesson), but sometimes i plain let go & the wishes come true in the most surprising ways * the universe always does provide...
speaking of getting what they deserve, i just got back from the wedding of one of my very best friends, Sarah, who lives in DC & who married a lovely, lovely Kiwi boy called Ewan * for the second time this year i saw a beloved friend marry a man about whom i have no doubt whatsoever, surrounded by first-class friends... what a treat *
trying to keep up
i'm not afraid i'm gonna stick my foot in my mouth at any moment trying to tell some of this story -- i'm quite certain of it * nothing like hanging around with some international types to make a girl from the states feel like an idiot (i'm not ashamed ...not too much anyway * may i always be a fool, i say, but the random ignorance is a tragedy) * i never let a little thing like imperfection stop me before (if you can't laugh at yourself what can you do, right?), so i'll just get on with my always slightly warped version of things * Sarah has been rolling in stories & seems to be doing a good job of enjoying them even as they roll on in snowball style * some of it i envy & all of it i admire *
Ewan had 4 mates up from New Zealand who are delightful every one * near constant smiles all around, if not laughter * i adore their humour, that strangely perfect balance of humble cocky, stodgy irreverent attitude * not to mention the accents... i'm just your average girl on that point: i love 'em & they put me to shame * on the first day i had to ask Croydon to repeat himself 3 times before i could get my slow brain around his question * now i can't remember the question but i do remember the look he gave me * i witnessed entire conversations go way over the head of a waitress & the B & B greeter * by then i was paying close enough attention to make a fool of myself only once or twice an hour but man i watched some stereotypes come to life *
it was such a pleasure to be in DC with a pack of New Zealanders, seeing the place, the whole country, in a much wider perspective * it's always humbling to spend some quality time with people from another country * they are often so much more aware of their place in the world than we are, though they're as full of their stereotype visions as the next guy (bet my bitty town would surprise them) * we joked a lot about the inferiority of wit & conscience in "Americans" (as it is so easy to call us, forgetting about all the others -- at least i do know my neighbors) *
they're so proud of their country, o man... talk about envy * i love my country... it would tear my heart out to move away from this land * the land, more than anything -- though i s'pose i should take courage by the fact that half of us are half-awake, shouldn't i? i would follow the right Kiwi home after about 3 seconds of thought (no doubt -- i am a puppy) but i'm not looking to escape * the Olympics & Canyonlands & the redwoods & the headlands at the end of my own street are reasons enough to stay & fight *
the only research i'd done before arriving was the trip i took with my family in 1988 * i knew less than the kiwis did, true story, & not just about DC * even though i have traveled & read & taken the time to learn about events beyond our boundaries... i did have a hard time keeping up -- which i love, of course! it's good to get schooled, to be inspired & challenged * i always joke that i'm not very bright & sometimes it bothers a person who doesn't see i'm just keeping myself in line * i don't mean that i'm not paying attention, not staying awake * i just don't want to assume i know anything about anything because the more i learn the less i know & that's a truth to live by *
i had a blast, almost as good a time in a city as i had in Canyonlands & that is saying something * friendship is an amazing thing & i think i made some new ones * i sure enjoyed the hell out of them each & every one but i never was entirely sure if i was just being humoured or if i was keeping up... who cares about that, right?
honouring our dead
it was a gorgeous day the one day i had to spend at the Mall, a day to spend outside * we walked from the Capitol down to the Lincoln... he must be rolling over in his grave sitting there watching all that's come after him * the Korean War Memorial, which is new since i was there, is beautifully done * at first i thought it was the Vietnam Memorial, which i had wanted to visit again ever since i first saw it & which i would visit every trip * i saw the big black wall, covered by what i thought were handprints, but turned out to be faces, haunting faces, photograph real * there are soldiers, bigger than life, real as life, & death, marching up the hill * all the countries who took part in the police action are listed on the walk up & at the top it gives the numbers of killed, missing, captured, wounded for the US & the UN * the most international of all the monuments * well done, i was proud (that was in Clinton's time, i noticed the World War II one, though impressive, is much more... patriotic & general) * everybody in the States ought to see it *
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my horrorscope this week
(for the week of 2 December 2004):
The seeds of some trees are so tightly compacted within their protective cones that only flames can free them and allow them to sprout. The lodgepole pine and jack pine can't reproduce, in other words, without the help of forest fires. I suspect that you will have a resemblance to those fire-dependent, fire-resistant seeds in the coming months, Aries. Your ability to prosper and flourish may require you to spend time in the metaphorical equivalent of a large blaze. Don't worry for your sanity or safety. Just as the seeds in jack pine cones can tolerate temperatures of 1,700 degrees Fahrenheit, you will be very hardy. P.S. Your first trial by fire may begin any minute now.
angel cards i just drew:
peace flexibility healing
what the tarot says
You are not adrift; you can navigate this extraordinary experience with skill.
how am i doing?
come & get me! i'm ready for fire & peace, growth & healing * i'm ready to be lost & found, ignorant & skillful * bring on those dancing lessons, here i am!
my favorite crush:
it's a new one, but i'll never tell (another real one, another 18 year old Macallan -- man, are those ever tasty ...sigh * maybe the third time's the charm -- i'll have to plan another trip, see if my luck holds) *
post wedding chop #8
the morning after the wedding the Kiwi boys (out of their kilts but somewhat hungover) chopped down a dead tree for Mac & Ann -- quite a show! would you believe these are the only pictures i took at the wedding? then a few in DC, nothing excellent (eek-cellent) * i was too busy enjoying myself this trip to take pictures... i memorized a few that should keep just fine *
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DC with Kiwis #6
i wanted to stand at the bottom of the lawn so that when i see protests on tv i can place myself there & imagine what it's like *
my answers to those questions he always asks on Inside the Actors Studio are as follows (today):
my most favorite word is antipodean *
my least favorite word is turbulence *
what turns me on is kissing *
what turns me off is not being kissed *
a sound i love is airplane brakes taking hold *
a sound i hate is the airplane engine going quiet *
my favorite curse word is sodding *
a profession other than my own that i would love to try is travel writer *
a profession i would hate to try is stewardess *
if i end up at the pearly gates & there is a god to greet me, i would want her to say, "Cascades or Canyonlands?" *
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