i did our laundry together
for the last time
i lingered over the many things i did
for the last time
cherishing the simple pleasure
of knowing just where a clean pot belongs
(a blue enameled one i bought on one of our Winthrop trips)
& kneeling to put it there
thinking that all the pretty memories
will haunt him too
perhaps the first time he reaches for that pot
that sweet lazy evening in Winthrop
will reach out to him
the simple beauty of the worn blue enamel
blending with the lovely fading love
i feel putting it there

i tried to leave some tender touches
a few finger prints to last
as i emptied the house of me
replacing the pictures i took with others
pictures of him
pictures of the dog
pictures of the beautiful river moments
the person behind the camera
being visible to the one in the picture
especially when the memory is strong
there were some good moments, captured
like they captured me

after we had dinner together
not for the last time
he helped me pack up some of my potted plants
-- leaving many to bloom more finger prints
all around the house --
& i did not cry when he said
"my stuff would fit in here too
this is what we'd need to move"

the everything i took in that truck
was nothing compared to the everything i left

leaving the boy who stole my heart
carried it all over the gorgeous state
of Washington & beyond
blending it thoroughly with rivers forests mountains
now trying to give it back

leaving the golden furred boy
in whose near-constant loving presence
i had luxuriated for almost 2 precious years

leaving the town
easy mellow Olympia
surrounded by mountains forest water
filled with friendly traditions

leaving the important things
taking the stuff
the only thing on that truck
i might've cried to lose
(including myself)
was the little statue of Krishna
Mirabai at heart that i am
faithful to a little sandalwood flautist
proving (again) to be my most constant companion

when there was nothing else
to postpone my reluctant departure
we three
girl, boy & pup
crawled up on that comfortable new bed
one last family snuggle

then we both cried
i swear i could feel the hearts breaking
i felt i was leaving my whole heart
right there in that little house in Olympia
with that wonderful idiot boy
who couldn't trust his obvious love for me
with that ever-loving, ever-trusting pup
who couldn't understand
i didn't understand
but i hugged them both tight
several times (none the last), with many tears

then i left